~~WATER UNDER THE FRIDGE~~: Easy as Remedial Pie

Easy as Remedial Pie

Thanksgiving is a time of gathering. Gathering and eating. Unfortunately for me, that last bit means there's some cooking involved.

Several years ago in Ohio, none of our relations lived nearby, so we planned to eat with friends. A week before the blessed holiday, Pamela, Sheri and I got together to plan who’d cook what. In the past I may have been somewhat vocal about my lack of culinary know-how. This is probably why I was assigned yams, peas, and ice. None of these things will make or break a Thanksgiving dinner. I was in the clear.

Then we began chatting about our favorite holiday memories, many of which, naturally, revolved around food. I happened to mention that my mom makes the best pecan pie. The best.

“Oh, you should bring one!” Sheri chimed cheerily.

I was about to say that my mother lived hundreds of miles away, and pies do not ship well. But instead of getting into all that, I just burbled a weak “Sure.”

Pamela jotted “famous pecan pie” next to my name in her notebook. Catching my tentative tone, she offered to share some extra pie crust dough with me, since she was already making a pumpkin pie, a pumpkin chiffon pie, and a chocolate tart. (Did I mention that Pam attended cooking school in New York?) I nodded. With her professional grade, super-talent-infused pie crust dough, I thought I might just pull it off.

That evening, I looked over the celebrated family recipe, and it scared the fire out of me. It seemed to be a pretty exact science. I should have felt comforted by how detailed Mom’s instructions were, with such phrases as “…let sit for 1 hour, stirring every 10 minutes” and “Bake for 10 minutes at 425°, then 45 more at 350°.” But it wasn’t reassuring—it was harrowing. My husband walked in and I looked up from the recipe.

“Pray for my pie,” I implored. “Pray for a Thanksgiving miracle.”

Lessons learned in pie-making:

1. Karo Syrup comes in two varieties. The “light” variety of said syrup does not taste good in pecan pie filling.

2. Oven temperatures may vary. Drastically.

3. Pie crust burns quickly in an over-hot oven.

4. If you only have enough superdough for two pies, do not bake both at the same time, just in case.

5. Having followed the rule above: if you burn pie #1, do not attempt to bake pie #2 in the same oven without first purchasing an oven thermometer, just in case. (I.e. reducing the bake time and temperature settings on your second attempt might not prevent burning.)

6. Crisco comes in two varieties. The “butter flavor” variety does not taste good in pie crust.

7. An oven thermometer, reduced bake times, and much prayer might not prevent burned pies on your third and fourth attempts. (Possibly due to elevation?)

----------------------

Wednesday night a little before midnight, I admitted defeat and didn’t try for pie #5.

Next morning, I started in on the side dishes...resulting in this classic line from my supportive husband as he entered the kitchen/battlefield: “I love the smell of burning yams in the morning.”

Aaand, here are three quick tips on peas for Thanksgiving dinner:

1. Caraway seed can be overpowering in large quantities.

2. If you find you have too much caraway seed, you could add more peas to help neutralize the flavor.

3. If it seems like a lot of peas, it is a lot of peas.

Eventually, I had all my assignments “ready” to take to dinner. I loaded up my cauldron of peas, my really caramelized yams, and a bag of ice. Pie #3 was actually the least scorched so I covered it in foil and brought it along, placing it on top of the fridge as soon as we arrived (in my defense, the countertop was pretty full of food...especially once I set the peas there).

Of course my thoughtful friends remembered about my pie when it came time for dessert. I recall Sheri’s husband Chris looking at it and asking politely,

“Is there something special about the crust? A secret family recipe?”
My reply: “Sort of.”

He did not ask for the recipe.

Luckily, Sheri and Pamela made a lot of delicious food so I didn’t actually ruin Thanksgiving. And as I enjoyed our happy gathering, I took comfort in this one thought: my ice was perfect.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE!!

WATER UNDER THE FRIDGE

Easy as Remedial Pie

0 comments:

RELEVANT TUNES